Warning BIG VENT!!

It started earlier in the Wednesday when Nathan (4)  broke his sisters bedroom window. Then learned how to open and climb out of it and seriously my windows are 4 feet from the ground. He chucked blankets pillows and stuffed animals out so he had something soft to break his fall. To top it all off Ashley(2) followed him out. They were in the room for 10 minutes when I get a knock at the door and the manager tells me the kids are outside.
I go and check the bedroom and found the window open with all that stuff out of it and no kids. So I get my shoes on and head out to see Nathan leading Ashley back to the house giving her a talking too because He knows he is in trouble. Saying things like "you know your not supposed to be outside by yourself" and "you gonna be in big trouble mi...ssy" She was fully dressed he had underwear on. Then I kept an eye until we could get the dowel rod to put in the window. Which is there now so I shouldn't have anything to worry about right...........
Well I woke up to a knock at my door this morning. So I come out of my room to answer it and notice my front door wide open. Not good right. I look out the door and the park manager is at the end of my driveway getting back into his truck. He says your kids are outside again (oldest is at great-grandma's.) So here I am panicked, I wake up Donald, put on my pants (I just realized the park manager saw me in my undies insert my own horror here.) I went down the road to my friends house and asked her to help me look. At this time I am frantic with worry. So we are driving around the park. I say to my friend head out of the park because my hubby passed us and still had not found them. As we are going I call the police and they told me that people had called about a couple of kids playing on the main road. Heart stopped. We get to there pronto. I see them both and here I am crying like a baby and they run up to me like they just had the best adventure ever. As we are standing there waiting for the Police to come the people who found my kids tell me what they were doing Nathan was riding his scooter down the middle of the road on the yellow line. Ashley was watching on the side of the road. AI am explaining That I do have locks and such on my door I think they realized that I was telling the truth. I gave them my address and name and phone number if they want to call CPS that is fine I am more then willing to let them in. They will find that the kids are well taken care of with everything they need. So I am not worried and I will be more then willing to show them the locks on my door and ask them for suggestions on improvements maybe they will have an idea I haven't tried.

 

I have Monkey see monkey do here. I have chain locks on the door. I have a dowel rods in the windows. I even called my dad and I never call him for anything I just didn't know what else to do. He made me feel better, as I sat there sobbing on the phone, because both of my brothers did this too. I am thankful for both him and Wendy (my stepmom) for making me realize this is something most parents will deal with, I just don't understand why I got all the crap. My siblings were worse then I was and I am the one suffering karma's fate. Hmmm makes me wonder what is in store for them later. :) I can only imagine. If you are wondering what I am talking about read last August's post about Nathan.

I think I see my hair getting grayer and more lines and wrinkles are appearing on my face. Yeah this day is going to be great when it is over.

Light at the End of the Tunnel

With everything that has gone on since Friday December 14th, it is hard to ignore that we live in scary times. I had a conversation with my daughter Carolyn that I never wanted to have. I had to tell her before she saw the mess that was on the news. Almost every channel had what happened at Sandy Hook. I told her the facts which are 20 children, who were her age, and 6 adults were killed by a man who was very sick and needed help but hasn't gotten it. It is okay to be scared and sad. I am too. Then I told her that most likely it won't happen at your school but in case it does your teachers are trained to know what to do so stay calm and listen to them.

I thank God that I have my children everyday!! I hold them closer to me now knowing that this is a possibility anywhere. Carolyn just turned 7 so she is the same age as most of those kids and it breaks my heart to know that.

In the heart above there are 27 candles one for each of the children and staff and one for the mother of the young man who needed help, because she was a victim too. I saw the poem below on someone's facebook page and thought it was perfect in how to describe how I feel and how I know those children now feel, welcomed into the light safely home in Heavenly Fathers arms.

twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.
their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.
they could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.
they were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say.

they remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
"where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
"this is heaven." declared a small boy. "we're spending Christmas at God's house."
when what to their wondering eyes did appear,
but Jesus, their savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
then He opened His arms and He called them by name.
and in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
those children all flew into the arms of their King
and as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
one small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.
and as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."
then He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe
then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
"Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"
"may this country be delivered from the hands of fools"
"I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools!"
then He and the children stood up without a sound.
"come now my children, let me show you around."
excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
all displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
and i heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
"in the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."

Written by Cameo Smith, Mt. Wolf, PA

My hope is that through all this tragic mess that conversations will take place that things will get fixed so that this won't happen again. There needs to be an open dialogue about the problem of mental illness not being treated with the respect it deserves. My hope it that this comes about there is such a need for it.

It is hard to see this as light but I say it is because it has opened the eyes of people who don't know to learn and start to care. Social media is great but communication and love for one another is what is needed to help our nation heal and learn to care for those who have issues like this one.

From 2011 I found on another blog site that I have stopped using and some new stuff.

My oldest Carolyn was at Grandma's house, while she was there my daughter Ashley only had me and her brother Nathan to play with. Well after a while of playing with me she decided she wanted to be on the floor by Nathan. The next thing I know I hear Nathan saying loudly "Stop it Ashwee." I look over there and Ashley has pulled herself onto Nathan's lap and was trying to get him to help her stand and pulling his hair in the process. I laughed it was cute.

The other day my son was telling me he wanted "oclate milk" (chocolate milk) I went and got his cup and he went and got the milk. I opened the milk and left it on the counter. Well he didn't know that it was open. All of a sudden I feel wet cold stuff running down my leg I look over and my son is wearing milk in his hair down his face and clothes. It was a brand new gallon too. I busted out laughing and told my hubby to come here you have too see this. He came in grumbling and busted out laughing too. I wish I had my camera at the time it would have been a good picture. 

Since Carolyn has learned to talk well she sometimes gets her words mixed up. One day October we were having burgers for dinner she said "mommy I am all done with my booger" I laughed and asked do you mean burger because you shouldn't eat boogers that is gross." She laughed really hard and said "yeah that is what I meant." Another thing that she used to say that is really cute was last night ago. 

*NEW 2012* Nathan says the funniest things his word for garbage truck "garbage can truck" he goes crazy when he sees one. Ashley is talking more and more everyday and I think we will start potty training when she is 2. She is showing the signs of readiness (already my other 2 had no interest.)

Yesterday was parent teacher conference with. Holy crap I have a smart kid!! I was given her reading test she scored 96% on it. I was also given her Math evaluation she scored 100% on it. Then the teacher proceeds to tell me that she was the only one to get that high of a score and that what they are learning is really hard this year that it is new material that they are teaching in the class. She is doing really good in all of it. The teacher had nothing but nice things to say too. She said she is really happy to have her in her class this year that she is sweet and almost always follows the rules. She is my good kid. 

Nathan has his next week. I wonder what surprises he will have in store for me. Knowing Nathan anything is possible. He surprises me all the time and amazes me. So we will see.

Married and Scary

My husband and I met at church May of 2004. It was a little funny because when we started dating, in June, we were not sure that we wanted to be together. The feeling was mutual between us. It was weird I know and you are probably thinking well how the heck did you end up married? Long story short my self esteem got the better of me, I was talking to him on the phone and telling him how I wanted to loose weight and get healthy because I was fat and no one liked me. He said "I think you are beautiful just the way you are. You don't need to change anything I like you for you." Now that threw me for a loop I tell you because that was the perfect thing to say to me. One of those moments where you think "wow this really could work" We both knew from the start that God had a big hand in our relationship from the very beginning. We both knew from that point that it was right to get married so we talked about it for a while. Then he finally got the ring gave me the box and asked "So what is your answer?" So romantic right? Uh not really, no bended knee, no romantic dinner we were in the parking lot of a grocery store in his cramped mini van oh yeah his knees were bent but that was because he was sitting in his seat. So once I realized he was asking me to marry him I said yes. We were very happy.

I took him to meet my dad it started out good then got  little weird. After the introduction to my family  and the announcement the we were getting married, my dad decides to ask my fiance "So have you slept with her yet?"
Donald was stunned (I was pissed and rightly so) but he answered "No."
Then dad says "Well why not is she not good enough for you?"
"DAD THAT IS ENOUGH!! We are waiting until we get married if you must know!!" I yelled. Oh and this conversation happened in front of my stepbrother (who was 18), his dad (my second dad), Jay (stepsister's hubby) and Ron (a family friend.)
I went and told Wendy my stepmother what he did and boy did she shame him into apologizing. She has a gift for that. My horror wasn't enough of a reason but her well she could make anyone see the wrong in their doing.
So after the horror of meeting my family he still wanted to marry me. We set the date January 4th 2005 and got busy planning. I wanted to be married in the temple which meant that our family could not be there with us when we got married, well except my mom (she passed in 2001.) It was a small wedding as we proceeded through the temple to finally the sealing room. It was a beautiful moment. The Temple usually closes at 10 pm but they made a special exception of us seeing how badly we wanted this. We were married by 10:30. I never felt more beautiful then I did that night. I remember looking in the mirror and seeing myself in my temple dress and I could not find a flaw. I realize now that this is how Heavenly Father sees me all the time. Funny that I remember it now after all this time and realize what it meant. Proceeding through the sessions to the sealing room. I look around and I know that even though our family wasn't there did not mean we were without family. Sister Kaski came and sat with me and said "I will be the stand in for your mom if you would like" I nodded afraid to say much without crying. As were getting married the spirit filled the room. My friends were there like family. It was so neat to see the mirrors and what they represent "eternity." Seeing my now husband react as we are married. It is something that I will never forget. He really is a great person and loves me so much. I am very lucky. We have been married almost 8 years now and though it hasn't been perfect not that I expected it. We have been through a lot in our almost 8 years but it has only made us stronger. 3 kids, 1 miscarriage, homeless, and loads of health issues that we are still dealing with. I wouldn't change it, not at all because it has made us stronger. Really who can ask for more then that?

My Parnormal Stories

The house that I grew up in is haunted and still is to this day. The people that lived in the house died in a train accident shortly before my parents bought the house, so I always believed  that it was them who were there, but as I got older I know that, that was not always the case. When I was little my brother and I used to play in our room (it was the largest bedroom in the house and it was in the very back of the house having to go down a long hallway, with 2 turns, to get to the room itself) so it was hard to hear when someone called you. My mom had MS (Multiple Sclerosis and was wheel chair bound and could not make the narrow parts of the hallway in the chair and she could not walk that far without assistance. So she would go to as far as she could and yell down the hallway for my brother or I if she needed us for something or to get us up for school. There were many times where I swear she had just called my name and I go and check out what she called me for. Only I find her asleep or ask and she will tell me "I didn't call you." It was weird. That long hallway I hated it was always so dark in there and I swear there were shadows that would move especially in the darkest part of the hall.
My parents sold the house when I was 13. All that stopped when we moved into the new house. Then my parents got divorced when I was 14 and when I was 16 we moved back into the old house as renters. It all started again. I had the room in the back of the house by myself this time. As soon as we moved in things started happening again. I would hear noises I couldn't explain my name called out in my mom's voice when she didn't even live with us anymore. Then there were the things that made you think. Like one day I was doing laundry and our dryer had a bad habit of burning our clothes. (Usually just mine too.) Anyway I was folding the laundry that just came out of the dryer and something told me to go and check the dryer. I got up and checked it. Nothing so I went back to doing what I was doing. Again something told me to go and check the dryer I did and again I saw nothing. So annoyed I went back to what I was doing. Then I heard it again and this time I knew something was up I could smell smoke. So I went and checked the dryer and nothing was wrong with the dryer!! As I stood up My eyes went to the back of the dryer and to the wall where the power outlet was and there was smoke coming out of the outlet. I ran next door and told them there was a fire in the outlet in the laundry room they came and cut the power and put out the small fire. Within the next few days afterwards when they fixed the outlet they couldn't believe what they had seen. The wires looked like someone had cut them just enough to start a fire.
Now when I used to sleep for some reason I would sleep on my hands weird I know but there is a reason I am telling this. One night as I was sleeping something slammed, it felt like a hand, into my stomach waking me from my sleep. I looked at where this hit me and the in my comforter was the outline of a hand. My hands were under the covers under me. There was no one  in the room but me. I covered my head with the blanket and went back to sleep to scared to move. It got to the point where even though I loved having my room be the biggest in the house I wouldn't sleep back there anymore I started sleeping on the sofa bed in the living room. I also never slept without a light on. I don't think that we lived there more then an year that time.
 After we moved out Friends of ours moved in. They were there for a while like 3 or so months and my friend asked me if the house was haunted. I could not tell her no. She had been seeing things in the house. They had 2 small kids at the time and she was pregnant with a third. My siblings and I babysat for them regularly. We loved their family. Shortly after I turned 18 they asked me to babysit and the baby was 3 months old. He was such a sweet heart. Happy little guy that could projectile vomit 5 feet from where we were sitting. Yeah he was awesome like that completely missed me almost every time. The last time I babysat him was in that house. It started like any other day when I babysat. Them telling me they were not going to be to late. He was really fussy that day so I thought he was tired and put him to bed 7-7:30 ish like she told me too. All that night I had this feeling almost s if someone were whispering in my ear "Go check the baby there is something wrong" I checked on him 3 times that night and he was just fine. The last I checked him was 12:30 am an hour later his parents were home in a good mood and all. So I left him in their care. The next day was a school day (I was still in high school my last year.) I got ready and went to school I was 5 minutes into my first period and my sister came in to get me (I was in the library I had a free period.) She said she wasn't allowed to tell me why she was there but would when we got to the car. t the time my grandmother on my fathers side was going through treatment for breast cancer and I was worried that it might be about her. Angie assured me it was not about her. We got to the car and the babies older brother and sister were in the backseat. Then as I was sitting down Angie told me "The baby died last night Kay the police have few questions for you but they know you didn't do anything because he was fine when you left." He died  half hour after I left. Now that I am a mother that is my worst fear to lose  child I seen what it did to this family it was very ugly for a while. They did not blame me for that I was grateful and I did babysit for them again, but not often weird things kept happening. The other kids kept saying things like "the monster says he is going to kill my mommy and daddy like he killed brother." For 3 & 4 year old little people that is a scary thing to get. My friends and I told them when ever they saw the monster to yell at it to "go away you can't hurt me I am not scared of you!" One day while my friend was babysitting she called me (I just got home from babysitting for another family and did not want to go back out.) She told me weird things were happening there and she was scared and the kids kept yelling what we told them to yell. So I went anyway even though I didn't want to go out. When I got there both kids were up and on the couch crying. I asked what was going on and she told me about the noises in the hall the light's having a mind of their own and such. So my friends and I went to check out what the noises were. We went to my former bedroom (the room where the baby died) and as I walked in the closet had a glowish about it and I saw orbs of light coming out of it. I turned to ask my friend if she saw it too I didn't have too the look on her face said it all. Then something touched my shoulder and told me to "get out" and wasn't nice about it either. I freaked out and then I couldn't get warm enough. I told my friend we need to leave take the kids to the neighbor and just leave. That is what we did too. As soon as we were all out of the house we could feel the difference. It was so strange.

I think I am Losing my mind!!!!

Do you ever just want to get up and just start screaming? Lately it is everyday for me UUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGG.
My fun began at 4:30 this morning with Nathan. He woke up and had wet his bed and the floor and because I thought it was just the floor my butt :( {I sat on his bed and got a wonderful wet surprise, nice} I have been trying to climb Mount Laundry and it seems like the Mountain gets higher instead of smaller.

Ever have one of those kids that will just sit with you and scream in your face? I have 2 of them. (Where are a good pair of earplugs when you need them????) Okay I had the screaming in stereo today fun right uh no not really. Did you ever just have one of those days that naptime can't come fast enough or bedtime for that matter. Then they lay on the floor by the door calling "mommy can I have a drink, mommy I want a kiss, mommy I want a hug, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy."

I do have to admit since Nathan started school things have gotten somewhat better. That only means that his pre-school teachers have inherited the problems (or at least part of them.) I did not know how much I would love school when it came time for him to go (can we make it year round???) Oh and our cat disappeared the day before Donald had surgery which went great BTW. That was October 2nd. We are still missing Dusty. It has been 2 weeks we are hoping that someone has him in their house and is loving him. We miss him and pray for his safety daily always wondering how he got out where he is and if he will ever come home to us.

Never a dull moment with Nathan in the House.

Wow it has been a while since I have done this. I need to start doing this more if I don't I will forget, I did for get some things on here already. Well to start I should explain that I have 3 children now and they are now 6 almost 7, 3 and a half, and 19 months old. Carolyn, Nathan and Ashley my baby.

I am so sure you have never heard this from at least one of your parents before "I hope that you have one that is just like you!!!!" Well played mom and dad well played. Nathan is that child and since I believe my brother is not going to have kids it all came down on me. You know that child that I am talking about the one that doesn't listen does what he wants and always gets into trouble. I think God had a sense of humor giving him to me because I believe he only gives us what we can handle. You know I never asked for patience I thought I had enough already...... well Nathan has proved that wrong. He is the one that gets the blame for everything that goes wrong in the house not just by the other children either his dad also does this and 99.9% of the time it is correct. Don't get me wrong I love him dearly and he has these eyes that would melt the heart of anyone on the planet and a very sweet disposition. He loves to give hugs and kisses and is very loveable. Then there are days when all of a sudden there is silence and you start to worry because of the quiet usually it is him sleeping but I know better about these things and go check.

There was a time in my life when I was babysitting with my sister and we were eating lunch and the kids were supposed to be playing in their room. All of a sudden it got really quiet, too quiet really so Angie and I decided to check on them. As we walk out of the kitchen and into the living room we see the kids having fun in a pile of board game pieces. I am talking monopoly, clue, scrabble, risk, stratigo and more monopoly money flying in the air as if they had wings and it were windy houses being used and stepped on risk figures using the houses. Then as we see the mess their mom comes in the door takes one look and bursts out laughing. Mean while I am holding my breath and thinking ahhhh what am I going to do how is this going to be explained????? Well we told her exactly what we were doing and she was so cool with it, she laughed, and said they are kids just remember that these things happen when they get quiet. Yeah I remember Nathan reminds me almost daily now, sometimes leaving me panicking.

Penis...... yes I said it and that is how Nathan says it too. I don't want them to feel funny using the proper word for their private body parts so all 3 of them have or are learning that. Since Nathan has potty trained he has begun to play with it and is not shy about it either. One day last week he found that his underwear had a "special" hole in them for his penis. Well that was awesome to him. (I babysit too and the girl I watch was here she is 10.) The next thing I know I hear Nathan start to sing "I have a penis! Look at my penis!!" with his penis sticking out the "special" hole. In the room with him was myself, my hubby, my daughters and the girl I babysit. We all bust out laughing it is so cute it was funny. Now I know I shouldn't have but I couldn't help it. He is my dads grandson there is a story that goes with this but it is inappropriate.

Potty...... when Nathan has to go he takes me with him I don't know why he does (I think he likes the company) anyway he was done and I had to go. So I went. I came out of my bathroom and was walking in the kitchen and noticed that the trash needed to go out. So I thought nothing of it and grabbed it up and took it out and that is when I saw him a streak of white flash runs by and I realize that it is Nathan with nothing on I mean NOTHING......... GET YOUR BUTT IN THIS HOUSE NOW!!!! and as I was yelling at him to do so I hear laughing. (Oh great the neighbors just saw this they are probably thinking holy crap that is funny.)

Fart....... Oh dear Lord Please let him be silent, this as I sit down at church. I have no idea what gave him gas but it was there and he has a habit of letting me know and asking me if I heard it. Now when I think of the word fart lots of stories come to my mind. Most of them being the stories that my grandma tells of my mom. On her first day of school her teacher asked the class if they had any questions. My mom raises her hand and asks "Can we fart in class?" Yep that's my mom. She proudly admitted that too with a huge smile on her face. Another one that I remember is when she was a little older and her teacher again asked a question again. The question was "Does anyone have a song that they would like to sing?" My mom's hand goes up, the teacher calls on her and she sings "Beans beans the musical fruit the more you eat the more toot the more you toot the better you feel so you should eat beans with every meal." So as we are going through our Sunday meeting we are at the end and everyone has their head bowed for the closing prayer. Suddenly my hilarious nightmare begins. From across the room I hear movement and instantly know Nathan is going to be irreverent. As I look up he looks straight at me with a big grin on his face and says "did you hear? Mom did you hear it I farted mom. Mommy I farted did you hear me? Mom I farted" As he is saying these words I look at my husband who has his hand across his face hiding his snickering I look across the room at my friend who is close to tears and snickering and trying to hide it as well and so were her daughters. At first I was horrified and then looking at those two laughing I lost that and it was replaced by me snickering. After the long winded prayer was over I walked over to my friend and she asked "did he say what I thought he said?" "Yep he did now you know why I don't sit in the chapel." Then we both started laughing. He is my mom grandson for sure. :) I just wish she could have been here to see him in action.

Garlic salt and pepper..... When I was little around 4ish I wanted to go snowmobiling really really bad. It was the middle of summer though and there was my problem, well I had a brilliant idea (although my mom would disagree later) the laundry soap :) it was white and fluffy and smelled great so I grabbed the box and took it outside and pored it all over the deck (it was a huge deck too at least it was to me.) I went back into the house and took my mom by the hand and said look mom it snowed. Big smile on my face I was so proud of myself and then I saw her expression change she wasn't happy about this and I couldn't sit for 2 days. :)

I was on the computer checking my facebook account. Nathan was supposed to be watching a movie (Cats VS Dogs was on.) All of a sudden I hear "pppllltttt oww it burns mommy I want water can you get me water?" I was like what the heck. So I got up and looked at him and on his chin was little back specks. I go into the dining area and on my kitchen floor is a powdery substance, I could smell garlic and I knew that he had gotten into my brand new shaker of garlic salt. It was everywhere, I walked to the laundry room where we keep the litter box, as I walk into the room I smell the pepper (also a brand new shaker) and the reason for his pain it is all over the laundry room in the litter box and all over the clothes. "I want water mom" I looked at him and said "no Nathan you won't get any relief from the water." I put him in time out and cleaned up the mess. Yep he is my son.

The sad part is this is only what has happened this past week. Today he got me up a little before 7 am this morning so I got up came out to the living room with him turned on the Disney channel and fell back to sleep in the chair. I woke back up on and off. I see Nathan come back into the living room and he says to me "Mommy I just went pee" I thought, "Yay he went in my bathroom and used the potty." Uh em yeah no. I went to use my bathroom and looked in the laundry room and my eyes went to the litter box. Cats when they pee are centered in one spot. Well it looks as if someone pored something into it. I found where he peed :( I think my cats are going to be upset. So this is the life with Nathan this week. Onto the next.

Carolyn

(AKA Buckets)
age 3
She says the darnest things they are soooo cute too instead of your welcome it is your welkin and instead of Grandma or Grandpa it is her own word for both Grandba. She loves her little brother and is a great big sister and helps mommy with whatever she needs.

Today she was using the potty and farted in the toilet and said "mom did you hear that? It's my bum." with a smile. She just got really good about going on the potty and is so proud of herself.

This is New To Me.

Hi. I am new to this so apoligies for the little bit of content in this so far. I am going to intro myself. I am Kay-Lynn I am married to Donald and we have two children Carolyn and Nathan. We also have two cats Mickey Blue Eyes and Dusty a hampster Junior and bird Annie. I will post more later. I can't wait to elaborate more on my family. We just moved into a new home and need to organize quite badly and that is not Donald's strong point.